It's so easy to get so caught up in housework, getting meals on the table, staying organized, working our jobs, keeping the kids clean.....checking the tasks off the list, day in and day out. I call it "doing". So easy to get up doing for our husbands and children that we forget the "being" part of it. But it is our being that leaves the greatest impact of all.
We have been discovering lately that this concept of being is important in our relationship and intimacy with God but from that intimacy through being, our whole life flows. We need to serve our families....someone needs to care for the home, the meals, the physical needs of those we love. However, the emotional and spiritual needs are just as, if not more, important than the physical needs. The time we spend communicating love in the ways that each of our family members can perceive....
...taking the time to read together, to play ponies or Polly's, to do a craft together, to take a walk, to talk abou things on their hearts, to help out with homework.
The Word teaches us to take time for our little ones, to cherish them, to instruct them, to worship together.....to care for our husbands, to honor them, to be devoted to them, to build them up...
All of this flows from a proper alignment in our lives beginning with the intimacy we have with our Papa in heaven, keeping Him at the center of our day, in our thoughts and in our deciisions...this time and love we devote to Him will strengthen us and empower us and flow from us into our families.
Next in keeping our lives properly aligned is our spouse. We have made a covenant with him before God to honor him, love him, and care for him and God put us in his life to meet these needs. How does your husband need you to love him? We all need to be loved (to feel or perceive love) in certain ways specific to us and we tend to communicate love to others in this same way. God knows what we need and He meets that need for us. Our spouses, however, may not know or understand what that need is and we may feel unloved or rejected and our spouse is likely feeling that same way if we are communicating love in the way the we ourselves need it. There is a wonderful, simple book, The 5 Love Languages, that is almost like a miracle when it comes to communicating love in ways that others can perceive. And, as we being to speak to others in their love language, often they will begin to communicate love back to us in ways we can perceive.I cannot imagine how our marriage or our relationships with our children would have ever thrived without studying and frequently referring back to this book.
Communicating love in ways others can perceive can be a self sacrifice and starts the process of our "being" with them. Being is not doing, it is a matter of the heart. As we learn to be with God, we will learn how to be with others. The more time we spend this way with Him, the more we will have to give to others. When this tank runs dry, our ability to be or give to others will also dry up and become more of a task to be checked off, draining and unfulfilling.
So, at least for me, in our home and family, when things are running askew, or people become needy, or I being to feel overwhelmed and under pressure, it usually means that I've gotten out of alignment and need to get things first right with God and then I am able to see where else I'm missing it. For example, my time with God has been very fulfilling lately and things have been running smoothly with our children, but I wasn't placing my husband high enough on my priority list and so things got a little stressful until I adjusted. When he and I are flowing right, our children are also less needy because they are not picking up on negative vibes stirring in our home, they are far more secure.
It is a constant work in progress but it becomes a way of life that is fulfilling and satidfying. It is so much easier to be organized and accomplish more because the demands at home being placed on you mentally, spiritually and emotionally are less since each family member feels loved and secure in their relationship with you and God, they are being loved in a way they can perceive and they can perceive His love through you reaching into their hearts because the goal is love, not accomplishment of a task.
We have been discovering lately that this concept of being is important in our relationship and intimacy with God but from that intimacy through being, our whole life flows. We need to serve our families....someone needs to care for the home, the meals, the physical needs of those we love. However, the emotional and spiritual needs are just as, if not more, important than the physical needs. The time we spend communicating love in the ways that each of our family members can perceive....
...taking the time to read together, to play ponies or Polly's, to do a craft together, to take a walk, to talk abou things on their hearts, to help out with homework.
The Word teaches us to take time for our little ones, to cherish them, to instruct them, to worship together.....to care for our husbands, to honor them, to be devoted to them, to build them up...
All of this flows from a proper alignment in our lives beginning with the intimacy we have with our Papa in heaven, keeping Him at the center of our day, in our thoughts and in our deciisions...this time and love we devote to Him will strengthen us and empower us and flow from us into our families.
Next in keeping our lives properly aligned is our spouse. We have made a covenant with him before God to honor him, love him, and care for him and God put us in his life to meet these needs. How does your husband need you to love him? We all need to be loved (to feel or perceive love) in certain ways specific to us and we tend to communicate love to others in this same way. God knows what we need and He meets that need for us. Our spouses, however, may not know or understand what that need is and we may feel unloved or rejected and our spouse is likely feeling that same way if we are communicating love in the way the we ourselves need it. There is a wonderful, simple book, The 5 Love Languages, that is almost like a miracle when it comes to communicating love in ways that others can perceive. And, as we being to speak to others in their love language, often they will begin to communicate love back to us in ways we can perceive.I cannot imagine how our marriage or our relationships with our children would have ever thrived without studying and frequently referring back to this book.
Communicating love in ways others can perceive can be a self sacrifice and starts the process of our "being" with them. Being is not doing, it is a matter of the heart. As we learn to be with God, we will learn how to be with others. The more time we spend this way with Him, the more we will have to give to others. When this tank runs dry, our ability to be or give to others will also dry up and become more of a task to be checked off, draining and unfulfilling.
So, at least for me, in our home and family, when things are running askew, or people become needy, or I being to feel overwhelmed and under pressure, it usually means that I've gotten out of alignment and need to get things first right with God and then I am able to see where else I'm missing it. For example, my time with God has been very fulfilling lately and things have been running smoothly with our children, but I wasn't placing my husband high enough on my priority list and so things got a little stressful until I adjusted. When he and I are flowing right, our children are also less needy because they are not picking up on negative vibes stirring in our home, they are far more secure.
It is a constant work in progress but it becomes a way of life that is fulfilling and satidfying. It is so much easier to be organized and accomplish more because the demands at home being placed on you mentally, spiritually and emotionally are less since each family member feels loved and secure in their relationship with you and God, they are being loved in a way they can perceive and they can perceive His love through you reaching into their hearts because the goal is love, not accomplishment of a task.
Bonding at 7 AM black Friday over shopping, Cinnabuns, coffee, and cocoa.
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